Mama look at me
I came home with a shiny degree
I wear a badge now in a big city
And I got a real big corporate job
My chest is tight every morning
And I wish I could disappear in the street
And the emptiness inside aches a bit
But that’s perhaps to be expected
When you give up everything to fix the past
Then the world will finally listen
This is what it’s all for, right?
Mama I miss home
I eat my dinner all alone after work
Barely taste it before I keel over and collapse
Finally find a pocket of time to myself
But I’m too tired
A young man who barely knows who he is
I put my own heart on the back burner and
Put the washing on instead
And maybe I’m being ungrateful
I’m making good money
And so many would murder
To be in a position like mine
So it must be a problem
With my perspective
I’ll practise pranayama
Find precious nirvana
Patanjali and purpose and peace
I’ll control my breath and my mind and my desires
And finally I’ll find peace
But I still wake in the dead of night and ask
Chat: what is this tight feeling in my chest?
Mama I know it broke you
When the savings dropped down to zero
I never saw such fear in your eyes
When the ones we trusted let us fall
I made sure to never see it again
You said we must try harder
For people like us we must do three times the work
To pull ourselves back to the table
So I spent my youth just working away
To fix all the money and mend all the fights
And got a shiny degree for people like us
I played the part and I played it well
I practised and perfected
Passed and outperformed
The audience applauded with passionate praise
Judges scored a perfect 10
And I came home and slept and did it all again
Now it’s all work and no play
Not that I know how to anyway
Rest that is, ‘cause it’s meetings and minutes and coffee
And I’m so tired but I just need to get through
Just ‘til the end of the day
Just so I can come home and sleep and do it all again
And score another perfect 10
And I never stop performing really
Even on the lonely weekends
Perform that is
Pretend I know how to feel that is
This is what it’s all for, right?
To have ground to stand on
So I could save the ones I left behind
With a belly full and a roof over my head
But I forgot how to love and lost myself instead
Mama I know I haven’t called in a while
Life got so crazy and by that I mean work
And I’m losing sleep and losing friends
And I can’t remember the last time I was excited
But Mama look at me now
I’m the main provider now
I wear a badge in a big city now
I have a seat at the table now
Mama this is what it’s all for, right?
P.S. This is a transformation from the original poem performed by “thediaryofdaze”.